By Natalie Thysse
Edited by Humairaa Mayet & Imaan Moosa
In conversation with To EmpowHER, Brooke May tells it all, from overcoming different forms of abuse to using her role as a teacher to create awareness about issues surrounding gender-based violence.
The biggest lie abuse makes us believe is that for some reason we deserve it and should therefore feel weak.
If a walking powerhouse was a person, then a 29-year-old high school English teacher, grade head, member of the school counselling team and hockey manager, Brooke May, would definitely be one.
Not only is she the one-year-old whose parents got divorced due to her mother being badly physically abused by her father, but she is also the ten-year-old who went to the bathroom at a sports field and almost became a victim of a worker who saw an opportunity to take advantage of her. She is also a university student who was sexually assaulted when she had too much to drink and was not in a state to defend herself when her ‘no’ was ignored.
No, Minister Cele, she was not ‘lucky.’
She has only found the confidence to share her story in the last five years and started to actively engage with it in the past two years.
She is passionate about the empowerment of women and knowing her mother’s story – coupled with her own experiences – has given her ammunition to fight back by encouraging and supporting women.
The turning point for May was when she accepted what had happened to her and became unashamed of it. What happened to her was not her fault and if she had been weighed down by the shame, then she would not have been able to openly talk about it or create awareness.
May, being a survivor of abuse, feels as though she has a deep strength and believes that it is worth sharing.
“I believe one of the biggest challenges we face is that women do not feel safe to do everyday things.”
May continues that it is so normalised to walk with fear as a woman.
You cannot collect your post without feeling unsafe. You can’t go for a run when you know there is no traffic around to be witnessed in case something happens. Going to the bathroom alone can be scary.
Speaking from a privileged position, May knows she doesn’t have to walk in the dark to work or take the bus alone, or cut across a field to get home but privileged or underprivileged:
The belief that men have ownership over women’s bodies and are entitled ‘to take’ what they want is scary and very real in our country.
She told To EmpowHer that lack of purpose and work for people can lead to boredom, frustration and anger and these are potential catalysts for crimes related to gender-based violence. The road to solving these issues seems endless at this stage.
May experienced abuse in different forms, yet she convinced a school of almost a thousand learners and staff members, to commemorate the women who marched to the Union Buildings in Pretoria to protest against the apartheid government and to support victims of gender-based violence. The York High School participated in a Women’s Walk that took place on Wednesday, 3 August 2022.
Learners at York High School contributing to women’s month.
Source: Michelle Pienaar
“I think a lot of the learners were hesitant as for some reason when the boys hear GBV, they assume we are going to generalise and attack the behaviour of all men.”
Her involvement in the Representative Council of Learners (RCL) created a platform to uplift women by selling purple ribbons during break times and organised the women’s walk.
At R5 per ribbon, an estimated R4 500 will be donated to Phambili Women’s Shelter in George in the Garden Route. This non-profit organisation (NPO) deals specifically with women and children who have come from abusive situations. To Phambili, it is not only about providing safety and shelter which is their first priority, but they are looking after women holistically.
“I believe NPOs are extremely powerful tools to help communities. In George alone, we have so many organisations to assist women daily. For women to know they have somewhere to go to help them overcome what they have faced. The unfortunate thing is that a lot of these places, out of necessity, are focused on fixing what has been broken. We desperately need more resources and means of preventing GBV in the first place. How? I wish I had an answer.”
May is not personally involved in Phambili but she is aware of the work that they do in the George community. She learned about Phambili Women’s Shelter through an NPO called Life Community Services, where she used to work.
She is currently assisting her husband, David, who runs an NPO called Empower. This organisation aims to bless, encourage and support those who are living in impoverished communities through a crèche or a soup kitchen. They do this as a family and strive to empower and change their own community.
“[A]nd hopefully the more change, the more light and therefore fewer opportunities for GBV crimes, poverty, violence.”
The idea to host a week to celebrate women is a fine example of how the use of language has the potential to create and sustain the camaraderie amongst staff and learners at York High School.
The RCL’s approach comes from a conservative effort to help learners see this as an opportunity to uplift women who have been victims of gender-based violence. The RCL tried their best to use language that was inclusive and in no way prejudiced. Their aim is to make this a permanent fixture on the York High annual calendar. Gender-based violence is not a once-off act therefore awareness shouldn’t be either.
Brooke May and her husband, David who runs his own NPO.
Source: Provided
People don’t listen when they feel attacked, they listen when they feel empowered.
It should not be a topic that is too sensitive to talk about or something that creates a division between genders. May is using her role as a teacher to create awareness and where better to start than with high school learners.
Educating teenagers and opening up discussions could make a huge difference.
“One of the major ways is just through talking about ‘why did you walk?’ and ‘who was it for?’ These simple questions allow for some potentially life-changing conversations to take place. They also allow people to tell their stories. It is not an attack on men but an opportunity to uplift women.”
As an activist against gender-based violence, May’s goals are based on the learners in her class. She wants them to know that even though they come from a place where they have experienced or witnessed domestic abuse, there is hope.
She wants them to not be ashamed of the harm done to them. Instead, they must use it as a mechanism to reclaim their power for themselves and others. She wants them to understand how powerful they are.
“One of my biggest passions is for girls to see and understand that we need each other. That we will not allow society to pit us against each other but instead that when we defend, protect and encourage our fellow women, we will become unstoppable.”
More about Brook May:
The word ‘normal’ would be an understatement to describe May’s very busy life. She leaves home at 06:45 for school where a lot of adventure takes place. In a space of 30 minutes, she enforces school rules, comforts a crying child and teaches. Being a mom to a one- and three-year-old, May’s life can be quite busy, but she describes this as a “beautiful chaos” and “adventurous”.
Brooke May’s two children. From left, Judah and Riley.
Source: Provided
“If I’m lucky I get home at 15:30-16:00 and spend a few hours being ‘Mom’ to my boy, Judah, and little girl, Riley. Once they have been fed and bathed and put to sleep, my husband, David, and I usually get a bit of time to catch up and plan for the next day. It is a crazy season but I am incredibly blessed to have an amazingly supportive husband, two happy kids, and a job that I love.”
On Tuesday, 9 August we celebrate Women’s Day in honor of the women who contributed and fought the apartheid government but there’s also a battle against gender-based violence. This day should be about women, like Brooke, who are contributing to shaping our future free from gender-based harm.
Born in Johannesburg, and residing in George, this powerhouse is no ordinary teacher.
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